Thursday, 21 April 2011

Critical Acuity Strikes Again

We've just had a string of interesting comments pop up on a review we published some years ago.

The Editors feel it inappropriate to publish these comments alongside the actual post, partly because they fail to engage with the review and instead focus on the reviewer; and partly because it would be unfair to relegate these comments to the end of a post that no one is likely to go back and read.

We reproduce them 'as is' except for some anonymising, to protect the reviewer in question.

"Brilliant book, worthy of all it'[s significant awards. The reviews on this site by [reviewer's initials mispelled] are absolute ignorent rubbish by an illerate wannabee....a joke, please [reviewer's name correctly spelled], don't clutter our internet with your jealous crap!!!!!!.. [poet's name] is clearly a poet laureate of the future and you, [reviewer's initials], are clearly NOT NOT NOT!!!! Eat it!! Live with It!! Don't take your craziness out on the talent!!!!"
Received: 21/04/11, by Anonymous.

[The Editors were particularly enamoured of the reference to the Wannabees, an apocryphal tribal cousin of the Maccabees. Also the neoligistic flair of words like 'illerate': the state of being angry and sick at the same time?]

"bey jealous blog owner, completely untalented wreth, does NOt approve. And guess what, we DO NOT CARE. Stupid cow, get a life!!"
Received: 21/04/11, by Anonymous.

[We appreciate the deference shown in referring to The Editors as 'bey'; however, neither of us are Turkish. 'Wreth': a syncopated wraith, literally a snipped in half ghost.]

"yeah yeah bet blog owner only approves what he or she wants. Lets see you publish two sides of the coin, otherwise aCTUALLY I urge everyone to ignore the internet witterings of the unimplotyed reviewer [reviewer's initials], how sad..."
Received: 21/04/11, by Anonymous.

['Unimplotyed': obs. c.14th century, referring to the act of plucking a root vegetable out of the ground of an allotment.]


Silkworms Ink said...

I think one of the lost verses of Alanis Morrisette's 'Ironic' contains the line,

'It's like calling someone else crazy/While you yourself use four successive exclamation marks'

The Editors said...

There's so much to enjoy here I don't know where to begin, so I won't be exhaustive, but my favourite element of the whole thing is this concept of 'our internet'. Where did that come from? I always assumed - perhaps naively - that part of the appeal of the interweb was that it was a kind of lawless libertarian frontier, like the American West, or my back garden, and that questions of ownership and control didn't - and couldn't - possibly apply. Who is this Anonymous, and how in Cthulu's name are they able to weild so much power that they could lay claim not just to a tiny corner of the internet, but to the internet IN ITS ENTIRETY? To be fair to Anon, I think all those kennings and limericks and border ballads attributed to him / her represent a hell of a body of work, a model of diversity and formalist daring, so maybe they know what they're talking about, poetry-wise. I've also decided I'm going to use multiple exclamation marks are the end of every sentence!!!!!!!!

Simon @ Gists and Piths!!!!!!